It's not the critic that counts

It is not the critic that counts; not the one who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if they fail, at least fails while daring greatly.

T. Roosevelt (Gender pronouns have been equalized)

Courage in the Arena

When we take feedback and criticism to heart, we can become overwhelmed and lose faith in ourselves and our abilities. 

But if we armour our heart and shut off from all feedback, we won't feel any connection with others or joy in our actions and successes. 

Brené Brown suggests using the Square Squad, a small one-inch by one-inch piece of paper to keep in your wallet with the names of a few close friends and allies. These are those friends and allies whose opinions of you, matter to you. They are not those that always agree with you what you say, but those who can give you honest, constructive feedback, and lift you up and cheer you on when you fail. 

After Brené came across the "Man in the Arena" quote, she discovered three powerful lessons about taking risks, being vulnerable, failure, feedback and criticism.

• If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall.
  Courage and daring is saying: “I know I will eventually fail, and I am still all in.”
  
  
• Vulnerability is the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
  Vulnerability is having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.
  
  
• Say to your critic, in your head if not out loud: "If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in, or open to, your feedback."
  
  

Adapted from copyrighted material from Dare To Lead - Brené Brown 2018.