Posts

Building others trust in ourselves

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Examining our own trust behaviours. In the previous post titled  Trust and the Marble Jar , we examined how others BRAVING behaviour leads us to build or lose trust in them.  Here we use the same BRAVING elements devised by Brené Brown , to examine how our behaviours impact other people's trust us. The elements are essentially the same, but from our point of view in taking responsibility for the outcome of our actions. Boundaries Trust is maintained or built when you respect other peoples boundaries . When the boundaries are unclear, you ask them what is okay and what is not ok.  Reliability Trust is maintained and built when  you do what you say you will do . You don't over promise. Accountability If you do break a promise, then trust can be maintained or built if you own your mistake , you apologize to them, and  you make amends by repairing the damage . Vault Trust is maintained or built when  you don't share information that...
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Trust and the Marble Jar

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Trust - Why we need it and how it is built and lost. Building and holding trust is essential in all areas of our life. To build connection with those we work with, to build and manage successful teams, and to build good personal relationships. The historical business model of command-and-control lacks team feedback and does not produce optimal project outcomes or an enjoyable or sustainable quality of work life for team members. Based on our values, each of us has our own intuitive guide to trusting others, but we often have habits or behaviours that neglect trust. By examining the elements that build and erode trust, we can understand our behaviours and the behaviours of others and make changes. Braving Trust - The Braving Inventory From  Brené 's research hear are the seven behaviours that can either build or erode trust. She created the apt acronym BRAVING to make it easier to remember. It stands for: Boundaries Reliability Accountability Vault Integrity Nonju...
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It's not the critic that counts

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It is not the critic that counts; not the one who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena , whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if they fail, at least fails while daring greatly. T. Roosevelt (Gender pronouns have been equalized) Courage in the Arena When we take feedback and criticism to heart, we can become overwhelmed and lose faith in ourselves and our abilities.  But if we armour our heart and shut off from all feedback, we won't feel any connection with others or joy in our actions and successes.  Brené Brown suggests using the Square Squad, a small one-inch by one-inch piece of paper to keep in your wallet with the names of a few close frie...
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Silence is harmful

Challenges - Stuff goes wrong. Whoever we are, whoever we are with, family, friends or business colleagues, there will be times when something goes wrong. Life would be boring without challenges. Some challenges come to us unexpectedly and some we create intentionally.  So what can we do or who can we be? As a leader, being quiet and listening to your team is a powerful skill. It can allow space for all your team members to contribute. But if you've a lot of quiet team members, you will need to manage the space so the quiet ones get a chance to speak. But what if one of your team is a team leader themselves. They have the knowledge and skills to do their job leading their team, but they stick a little too much to business. Or when they share a little about their life, you find it hard to connect with their emotion.  Humans are emotional beings. Sure, we've been hurt in the past and we need to choose who we share ourselves with as some people won't, or don't know how to ...
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